When a Parent Goes to Prison, the Stigma Stays
The Lasting Emotional Impact on Children
When a parent goes to prison, the sentence doesn’t stop at the prison gates. It reaches into classrooms, playgrounds, and living rooms—often into every aspect of the lives of children who did nothing wrong.
Every child experiences parental imprisonment differently. But many share one painful reality: stigma. They bear the burden of assumptions, whispers, and stereotypes about a crime they did not commit. They have no control over how others see their parent—or how those perceptions spill over onto them.
This kind of “associative stigma” can shape how children are treated at school, in their communities, and even by institutions meant to support them. Over time, it can lead to isolation, marginalization, and deep emotional strain.
“I often wonder how much my father’s criminal record affects others’ perception of me.”
– Liam, 16 years old
This post explores how stigma quietly shapes the lives of children with an incarcerated parent—often in ways that leave lasting marks on how they see themselves and the world around them.
Rethinking Stigma
Stigma emerges from the perceptions shaped by our societies and cultures, which can significantly influence how individuals behave and see themselves. These societal norms and values create expectations about acceptable behavior, often leaving many feeling inadequate or out of place. As our understanding of normalcy evolves, created by changes in politics, economics, and culture, individuals may feel immense pressure to conform to cultural and societal norms.
Stigma doesn’t appear out of nowhere. It grows out of the stories we tell, the assumptions we repeat, and the labels our society decides to attach to certain people.
Every community has unspoken rules about what is “normal” and what isn’t. When someone falls outside those expectations—because of poverty, race, disability, or incarceration—they can be treated as different, less worthy, or even suspect.
Children feel this deeply, even when nothing is said out loud.
As social attitudes shift with politics, media, and culture, so do ideas about who belongs and who doesn’t. For children with a parent in prison, these shifting ideas can create pressure, confusion, and a painful sense of standing apart.
Where Did These Ideas Come From?
The belief that some people are “born bad” isn’t new. For centuries, societies have tried to explain crime by pointing to supposed flaws in a person’s character—or even their biology.
In the late 1800s, Italian criminologist Cesare Lombroso argued that criminals were evolutionary “throwbacks.” He claimed they could be identified by physical features or certain facial traits. According to him, crime was inherited—written into a person’s biology.
Today, these ideas sound outdated and deeply flawed. But at the time, they shaped how people thought about crime and punishment. And traces of those beliefs still linger in our current society. The assumption that criminality is inherited continues to influence public attitudes.
https://www.simplypsychology.org/lombroso-theory-of-crime-criminal-man-and-atavism.html
Even though Lombroso’s ideas have long been discredited, the belief that criminality reflects a person’s inherent flaws still lingers. And when that belief exists, it doesn’t stop with the individual who was incarcerated.
It can extend to their children.
Children may be treated as though something about them is suspect, fragile, or destined to fail. They may feel it in subtle ways—a shift in tone, a withdrawn friendship, a lowered expectation. Over time, these moments accumulate.
And silence begins to feel safer than exposure.
Transference of Stigma Across Generations
Associative stigma refers to the way negative labels are extended to people because of who they are connected to (Verhaeghe & Bracke, 2012). For children of incarcerated parents, that connection alone can shape how others see them — and how they begin to see themselves.
Indeed, the concept of associative stigma highlights psychological traits and behavioral characteristics in children of imprisoned parents, unjustly labeling a child as inferior and maladapted to societal norms due to genetic transferences. What’s more, these perceptions reinforce assumptions of visible emotional and behavioral disparities in children of incarcerated parents.
When Stigma Turns Inward
The stigma surrounding parental imprisonment doesn’t just come from the outside. Over time, children can begin to absorb it.
They may start to believe the unspoken messages around them — that they are “less than,” damaged, or somehow destined to struggle. Even when no one says these words directly, children often feel them. And those feelings can settle deep inside.
Shame can be heavy. It can show up as guilt, embarrassment, or the quiet belief that something is wrong with you. For a child already coping with separation and uncertainty, carrying that kind of emotional weight can feel overwhelming.
When shame becomes internal, it increases vulnerability. It can affect confidence, relationships, and a child’s sense of belonging. Instead of seeing themselves as worthy and capable, they may shrink — trying to stay small, unnoticed, safe.
And in a world quick to judge, that shrinking can lead to further exclusion and isolation. (Dovidio et al., 2000)
The child’s self-stigmatization generates heightened vulnerability, which then can complicate the circumstances of a burdensome situation that extends beyond a child’s emotional and mental abilities.
Over time, they may find themselves pushed to the edges — misunderstood, overlooked, or quietly excluded.
Additionally, it may lead to a lower social standing, inviting discrimination and marginalization. (DeMasi & Teuten Bohn, 2020).
Identity Formation: Adding Insult to Injury
Stigma humiliates. It degrades. And when children internalize it, the consequences can be real. Emotional distress, withdrawal, anger, or self-doubt may follow — not because something is wrong with them, but because they have been made to feel that way.
Associative stigma rests on a dangerous set of assumptions: that children inherit not just their parents’ genes, but their “flaws.” That they are less deserving of empathy. That they are unpredictable, risky, or somehow destined for criminality themselves. These beliefs strip children of their individuality and reduce them to a stereotype.
Re-Discovering Dignity and Grace
“Every child has their dignity. Suppose a child is to be constitutionally imagined as an individual with a distinctive personality and not merely as a miniature adult waiting to reach full size. In that case, they cannot be treated as a mere extension of their parents, unbiblically destined to sink or swim with them.”
-Justice Albie Sachs (2007)
Justice Albie Sachs’s quote (2007) emphasizes the individuality and inherent dignity of every child, recognizing them as distinct persons with unique personalities. His statement challenges the traditional view that children are simply extensions of their parents, underscoring the importance of acknowledging that children are individuals with their own rights and identities.
From Shame to Support: Challenging Stigma and Restoring Children’s Sense of Worth
Shame has a powerful grip. When children internalize the belief that they are somehow “less than,” they may retreat into secrecy and silence, hoping to avoid further humiliation. But silence often deepens the loneliness. Isolation grows heavier. The burden becomes harder to carry.
Yet the stigma these children face is not rooted in truth—it is rooted in outdated ideas and inherited assumptions that no longer serve us. When we begin to question those assumptions, something shifts.
If we are willing to look beyond labels, to challenge long-held beliefs, and to recognize children for who they are—not for what their parents did or didn’t do—we create space for understanding.
And in that space, children can begin to feel something different.
Not shame.
Not isolation.
But belonging.
Further Reading & References
Dawson, E., Brookes, L., & Carter, J. (2013). The psychological effects of parental incarceration on children: A review of research. Journal of Child Psychology, 45(3), 24
DeMasi, M. E., & Teuten Bohn, C. (2020). Psychological stress and associative stigma: Understanding the effects of parental incarceration. Journal of Social Psychology, 58(4), 312-329.
Dovidio, J. F., Major, B., & Crocker, J. (2000). Stigma: Introduction and overview. In T. F. Heatherton, R. E. Kleck, M. R. Hebl, & J. G. Hull (Eds.), The Social Psychology of Stigma (pp. 1-28). Guilford Press.
Knaphus-Soran, E. (2017). Stigma and the educational experience of children of incarcerated parents (Doctoral dissertation). University of Washington. digital.lib.washington.edu
Lombroso, C. (1876). The Criminal Man. Turin, Italy: Bocca. Simply Psychology: https://www.simplypsychology.org/lombroso-theory-of-crime-criminal-man-and-atavism.html
Verhaeghe, P., & Bracke, P. (2012). Associative stigma among mental health professionals: Implications for professional and service user well-being. Psychology & Society, 10(1), 85-99. PubMed: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22382718/
Sachs, A. (2007). Every child matters: A legal perspective. Human Rights Journal, 22(2), 127-140.
