Betrayal and Moral Injury in Youth: The Hidden Wound
Introduction
When a parent is incarcerated, their child’s world is turned upside down. Beyond the emotional distress, stigma, and financial struggles, these children often wrestle with something deeper—moral injury. Imagine a child who looks up to their parent, only to see them behind bars. This experience can create profound psychological wounds, especially when it involves feelings of betrayal or conflicts with their moral beliefs. Psychologists refer to such experiences as Potentially Morally Injurious Events (PMIEs).
Trauma models often highlight children’s emotional distress but tend to overlook moral injury, which stems from betrayal by a trusted figure like a parent. This blog explores the challenges children face in balancing loyalty to a parent with societal moral expectations.
Understanding both betrayal trauma and moral injury is essential for improving trauma-informed care. It encourages caregivers and mental health professionals to recognize and validate these experiences, ultimately leading to more effective support for young individuals. By acknowledging the psychological scars formed through these experiences, we can foster healing and resilience in the lives of children grappling with these challenges.
Attachment Theory: The Foundation of Trust and Morality
The parent-child relationship is the first and most significant social bond in a child’s upbringing. When children experience fear, threat, or distress, they instinctively seek closeness and reassurance from their first source of comfort and protection, usually their mother or father. This bond plays an important role in shaping emotional and cognitive development by providing stability and a moral framework.
How Attachment Shapes Moral Development
As Charuvastra & Cloitre (2008) explain:
“Proximity to the caretaker protects the child from threat, relieves distress through the receipt of comfort and soothing, and provides direction about how to negotiate the world at large so that the child can return to and be successful in exploration”.
However, when a parent commits a violent crime, this fundamental attachment is thrown into disarray. The child is now faced with the harsh reality that the person they rely on for moral guidance has shattered societal moral codes. In addition, the traumatic betrayal and related moral injuries can persist over a long time.
“I’m still shocked and confused, and somehow angry, too. I know what happened, but I’m too embarrassed to tell anyone. Besides, who wants to hear that anyway? That terrible thing he has done to her and her family. And how can he not care how we, my brother and I, think about what he has done? When I visit him in prison, I feel uncomfortable around him, like I have to watch what he will do next. But somehow I still love him because, you know, he is still my dad.”
– Amilia, 14 years old
Defining Betrayal Trauma and Moral Injury
According to Freyd (2008) betrayal trauma arises when a trusted figure—like a parent—shatters a child’s expectations. This creates deep emotional turmoil as children grapple with conflicting feelings of love, disappointment, and confusion. Over time, this internal struggle can develop into moral injury, causing them to question their values, trust in others, and sense of security.
Moral Injury: The Shattering of One’s Ethical Compass
To understand the impact on children of incarcerated parents, it’s important to first define moral injury. This psychological wound occurs when someone’s deeply held moral values are betrayed, particularly in situations where trust and integrity matter most.
The term “Moral injury” is often discussed in military contexts, but Carey & Hodgson (2018) define it as:
“Moral injury is a trauma-related syndrome caused by the physical, psychological, social, and spiritual impact of grievous moral transgression or violations of an individual’s deeply held moral beliefs and ethical standards … fundamentally challenging the moral integrity of an individual”.
The Inner Conflict of Children of Offenders
A child grappling with the knowledge of their parent’s crime must navigate immense social pressure, potential stigmatization, and inner turmoil. This internal struggle may intensify particularly if the child is pressured to keep secrets, rationalize wrongdoing, or observe the consequences of their parent’s actions. Consequently, the more intense the betrayal, the deeper the moral distress.
How Betrayal Trauma Leads to Moral Injury in Children
Nash & Litz (2009) state that moral development does not occur at any age in isolation but is influenced by the social norms and culture in which an individual exists.
strategyhttps://www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/articles/article-pdf/id33165.pdf
When a parent acts against the law of justice, the child may experience profound cognitive and emotional dissonance and questions may arise such as:
- “If my parent hurts others, does that mean violence is acceptable?”
- “How can someone I love do something so wrong?”
- “Am I somewhat responsible in their actions?”
Key Factors That Influence the Severity of Moral Injury in Youth
- The Severity of the Crime
- Serious crimes, particularly those that inflict harm on others, can lead to more profound moral injuries compared to lesser offenses. As noted by Judith Herman (1997), the key features of a traumatic event such as encountering severe violence, have the ability to evoke feelings of helplessness and intense fear.
- The Nature of the Relationship
- The closer the child is to the offending parent, the more profound the emotional and ethical impact.
- The Child’s Cognitive and Emotional Development
- Adolescents, with their ability of moral reasoning, may feel deeper shame and a greater sense of responsibility than younger children.
- Societal Response
- If a child experiences public shame, social isolation, or community judgment because of their parent’s crime, then their sense of moral injury deepens. Conversely, a supportive environment can significantly reduce this impact.
- https://artexpressionnarrative.org/wp-admin/post.php?post=773&action=edit
Breaking the Cycle: Healing and Support
To effectively address moral injury in young people, it is beneficial to expand our approach beyond traditional trauma interventions that primarily concentrate on individual responses. Equally important is the recognition of the moral and ethical dilemmas that often accompany these situations.
Restoring Trust Through Relationship
The first step to healing begins with safe, reliable relationships where children can process emotions without fear of judgment or further betrayal.
Encouraging Open Conversations About Morality
Helping children navigate ethical dilemmas fosters resilience and prevents distorted moral beliefs from taking root.
Providing Trauma-Informed Therapy
https://www.traumainformedcare.chcs.org/what-is-trauma-informed-care/
When mental health professionals incorporate moral injury frameworks into therapy, especially for youth, they can effectively support young individuals in healing from trauma. Moreover, this approach also addresses the ethical dilemmas that these young people may face during their developmental journey. By using moral injury frameworks, therapists can create a more comprehensive healing environment that acknowledges both the psychological and ethical aspects of a child’s experiences.
Challenging Stigmatization
By reconizing the presence of moral injury we can improve healing and support for families of offenders. By recognizing their challenges, we can create a compassionate environment that promotes understanding and healing for those sharing the emotional burden. This shift can lead to meaningful support and growth for all.
For example, Nash and Litz (2013) who studied injurious impacts of war and secondary traumatization, concluded
“Military spouses and children can experience potentially morally injurious wartime events directly through news media, stories shared by family members and friends, and other interactions in the community.”
Conclusion
Helping children of incarcerated parents heal from moral injury requires more than just sympathy—it demands action. We need greater awareness, targeted support programs, and policy changes that prioritize their emotional well-being. When we recognize the hidden wounds these children carry, we take the first step toward building a more compassionate and supportive system—one that fosters healing, resilience, and hope for their future.
By fostering open dialogue, we can establish a supportive environment that empowers these young individuals to heal, rebuild trust, and regain clarity in their moral compass.
Further Reading & References
- Charuvastra, A., & Cloitre, M. (2008). Social bonds and posttraumatic stress disorder.
- Freyd, J. J. (2008). Betrayal Trauma: The Logic of Forgetting Childhood Abuse.
- Herman, J. L. (1997). Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence—from Domestic Abuse to Political Terror.
- Litz, B. T., et al. (2009). Moral injury and moral repair in war veterans: A preliminary model and intervention strategy.
