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The Hidden Burdens: The Untold Stories of Parental Incarceration
When a child internalizes powerful, stigma-laden phrases such as “deviant and defective,” it can reinforce the feeling in a child of being “less” than everyone else. This raises an important question: Should we feel ashamed of our identity if we are deemed less worthy than others? Additionally, when we filter our experiences through the lens of shame, this emotional burden can weigh heavily and reignite the fear, anger, and embarrassment linked to past traumatic events. Silencing our trauma narratives seems to be a valuable decision to safeguard us from the emotional pain associated with the stigma of parental incarceration. Suppressing our experiences may act as a protective mechanism, shielding us…
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My Hidden Truth: A Raw And Honest Narrative Of Silence
This is my narrative about the weight of secrecy and silence. On my way home from school, I saw a newspaper headline on a newsstand. As I walked by, a wave of discomfort and unease came over me—an instinctive reaction I couldn’t explain. Something felt deeply wrong, but I had no words for it then. It wasn’t until 20 years later, sitting in a counselor’s office, that I finally understood why. Beneath that headline was a photo of my father and his two daughters. So much for protective denial. When I entered the apartment, my mother was waiting in the living room, holding several newspapers. Her expression was cold and…
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The Unvoiced But Powerful Presence of Shame
“Solitary Confinement” by Bridget A. Koehler (2025) Though shame is rarely spoken aloud, its presence shapes our thoughts, actions, and self-perception in profound and often invisible ways. Shame is an excruciating emotional state, rooted in the idea of “covering up.” It thrives in secrecy, hiding in shadows and keeping stories buried. Yet, it is an undeniable part of the human experience—especially for children of incarcerated parents. This blog explores the deep emotional impact of shame, its role in isolation, and how it shapes self-worth and identity. Most importantly, it highlights the power of empathy, understanding, and connection in breaking the cycle, allowing those affected to step out of the shadows…
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Effect of Associative Stigma on Children
The Emotional Life within the Shadow of Stigma Introduction The experience of parental imprisonment is unique for each child. However, there appears to be one factor that presents itself in the experience: a stigma associated with parental incarceration. A child with an incarcerated parent has little influence over societal beliefs about that parent. Additionally, they may be subject to widely held stereotypes and biases implicit in associative stigma. (Dawson et al.., 2013). This social stigma can adversely impact children in various ways and contribute to continued marginalization and discrimination. “I often wonder how much my father’s criminal record affects others’ perception of me.“ -Liam, 16 years old This blog…
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Betrayal and Moral Injury in Youth: The Hidden Wound
Introduction When a parent is incarcerated, their child’s world is turned upside down. Beyond the emotional distress, stigma, and financial struggles, these children often wrestle with something deeper—moral injury. Imagine a child who looks up to their parent, only to see them behind bars. This experience can create profound psychological wounds, especially when it involves feelings of betrayal or conflicts with their moral beliefs. Psychologists refer to such experiences as Potentially Morally Injurious Events (PMIEs). Trauma models often highlight children’s emotional distress but tend to overlook moral injury, which stems from betrayal by a trusted figure like a parent. This blog explores the challenges children face in balancing loyalty to…
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The Impact of Parental Incarceration
The impact of parental incarceration on children can be profound and sometimes long-lasting. The hidden emotional struggles surrounding parental imprisonments can shape the lives of children in unexpected ways. Two critical struggles they may endure include the trauma of witnessing a parent’s arrest and the potential disruption caused by relocation. These experiences not only disrupt their sense of security but also expose them to long-term emotional and psychological strain. Research into psychological trauma highlights how subjective the perception of distressing events can be. Yet, it is widely acknowledged that parental incarceration is a significant source of stress and disruption for minor children. For them, it is not just an event—it…
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Childhood Inequality: Glimpses of Privilege, Shadows of Survival
For countless children of incarcerated parents, inequality is not merely a theoretical idea. It is a harsh reality that touches nearly every aspect of their lives. Some children thrive in stable, resource-rich homes, while, in contrast, those with imprisoned parents often experience instability and chaos. Additionally, they may face traumatic loss, societal judgment, and other challenges. Glimpses of Privilege Recently, I attended a piano recital featuring a 15-year-old boy named Javier. His performance was nothing short of extraordinary, revealing a level of talent that far surpassed his age. I was amazed by the dedication and countless hours of practice he must have invested in mastering the works of famous composers.…
