When a child internalizes powerful, stigma-laden phrases such as “deviant and defective,” it can reinforce the feeling in a child of being “less” than everyone else. This raises an important question: Should we feel ashamed of our identity if we are deemed less worthy than others? Additionally, when we filter our experiences through the lens of shame, this emotional burden can weigh heavily and reignite the fear, anger, and embarrassment linked to past traumatic events. Silencing our trauma narratives seems to be a valuable decision to safeguard us from the emotional pain associated with the stigma of parental incarceration. Suppressing our experiences may act as a protective mechanism, shielding us…

 “Solitary Confinement” by Bridget A. Koehler (2025) Though shame is rarely spoken aloud, its presence shapes our thoughts, actions, and self-perception in profound and often invisible ways. Shame is an excruciating emotional state, rooted in the idea of “covering up.” It thrives in secrecy, hiding in shadows and keeping stories buried. Yet, it is an undeniable part of the human experience—especially for children of incarcerated parents. This blog explores the deep emotional impact of shame, its role in isolation, and how it shapes self-worth and identity. Most importantly, it highlights the power of empathy, understanding, and connection in breaking the cycle, allowing those affected to step out of the shadows…